i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize