"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
