So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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