The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There's always time for handjobs
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
