my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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