well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
