She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
