I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize