More tranny stories later!
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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