So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
