yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
