did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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