I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i wish my penis had a tongue
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
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