I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
