all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
