Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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