dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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