Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize