How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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