Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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