I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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