I murdered the dance floor call the cops
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
