Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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