no, he came in my armpit
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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