This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize