literally had 100 drinks last night.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
So squirting runs in the family.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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