the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
