don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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