question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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