R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I love you. Go after that dick
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
