I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
