We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
