Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
