careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just forgot I was standing up.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
