you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
