i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
