am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
