Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
