Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
did you just send me my own nude
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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