All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize