I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
