How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
