She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
