So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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