Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize