Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We smell like vodka and hangover
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
