i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
