i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
