Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize