Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
