Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
