What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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