don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
