Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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