you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
