There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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