you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
