Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
