party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
