the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
