YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she was so not down for the gang bang
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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